What do these phrases have in common:
● Wayne
blinked his eyes.
● Cristie
nodded her head.
● Meagan
paced back and forth.
How about these:
● safe
haven
● free
gift
● tuna
fish
In
first drafts, we naturally use more words than necessary. But in
editing, we can delete ones that merely take up space.
My
favorite examples are those that Jerry B. Jenkins credits with
accomplishing a hat trick — saying the same thing three times: Paul
nodded his head in agreement.
Thriller
writer Graham Brown gave me this example: She unlocked the door with
the key in her hand. Unless she's a burglar, who needs the additional
information?
Having
long been coached to cut pleonasms, I was embarrassed to learn I'd
recently let one slip through. But the second editor caught my gaffe
before we allowed the writer so say she'd flossed her teeth. What
else?
3 comments:
Reminds of an article (I forget which one) which referred to an extremely unique, one-of-a-kind opportunity. But since "unique" already encapsulates the other words, the whole phrase felt bloated.
Wonderful post! I am soooo guilty of this.
I'm always amazed at how people misunderstand each other, so I have to play the devil's advocate here. Depending on the context, you could be flossing a bone in a corset. No, I don't embroider. I had to search for an example. But I do get the point of your piece! (No puns intended.) :-)
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