Genre: Middle Grade YA Fantasy
Jonah
Zackar stood at the woodpile, listening to the howling wind and remembering the
warning Old Blind Alice had given him, last time he'd been out her way.
Her
scratchy voice had added a creepiness factor to her words. "When birch
branches clack in the wind, and rattle like dead men's bones, that means the
little hairy men are searching." She'd trembled and pulled her afghan
tight against the Alaskan chill. "Looking for victims," she'd
whispered. "Wind makes 'em hungered."
Jonah
squinted through the gap between his beaver fur hat and the wool scarf, which
was wrapped across the bottom half of his face. All around, thin birch trees
bowed, forced down by the unrelenting gale.
Out
of the corner of his eye, Jonah caught a flash of color skittering across the
snowy ground. He whipped around and stared.
Nothing.
Still
the fine hairs on the nape of his neck stood up.
He
shook the feeling off, telling himself to stop being silly. The movement he'd
seen must have been twigs being blown about. He didn't believe in all that
mumbo jumbo talk about little hairy men. He didn't believe they were out there,
watching, with mouths watering, waiting for the perfect time to spring. What he
did believe in was his uncle's temper. If he didn't get the wood in soon, he'd
be a victim alright--Unc's victim. Moving clumsily, all bundled up in his thick
fur parka and mittens, he shoved a piece of firewood into his bag.
Last weeks contributor was author Shelly Tucker. Shelly has recently set up a blog at www.shellytucker.com,
titled "Faith in the Desert". Please stop by and encourage her
in this new endeavor.
15 comments:
Hmmm...I'm intrigued. I would probably read on just to see what the little men turn out to be - but I'd probably skip ahead to find out. I wasn't really grabbed by the writing on this first page and I don't think there was a big enough "hook" to grab the reader's attention.
I could, however, picture a creepy old woman saying those words in the 2nd paragraph so kudos to the author for that!
I think I would continue reading.
I would like this better if the author would strike the first two paragraphs. The action in the scene begins in the third paragraph and I don't see much value in what is said about Alice.
I like this, especially for YA. I was intrigued by the name of the old woman...
When can I buy this? I want to read on.
If I could cut and tighten it up first, then yes!
Like Tim mentioned, I would strike the first two paragraphs. After that I would definitely keep reading.
I would definitely read on. After killing a couple of commas.
Yes. It's a bit wordy at first, but near the end of this selection, the writing flows and is less stilted.
I do want to find out if he escapes his uncle's ire, and what the little men turn out to be. There is enough tension to intrigue me.
Perhaps some editing, but I'd definitely read on. Loved the creepyness! Want to see what happens next.
Yes, I would read on. As for those first two paragraphs, they're keepers. As a professional raconteur, I had to read Old Blind Alice's lines aloud and in character, of course.
I hear a storyteller's voice in the writing. It sounds like a great read-aloud.
The "little hairy men"? I wish the writer had given them a more evocative descriptor. And I wonder at the significance of the MC's name. Hmmmm....
I'm curious about the uncle.
Wow, I'm pretty much blown away and want to read more. One thought, though--I think it has to be EITHER MG or YA; it can't really qualify as both. It all depends on the age of the main character. I'm interested to find out who wrote this!
Heather, you broach upon a conundrum I have with my own novel. I think it's possible for a work to teeter on a line between MG and YA. It matters to the bookseller or librarian who wants to place it on the "correct" shelf, but does the reader care? I was thrilled when I saw this book described as MG/YA. Hooray! That's a niche my baby can squeeze into.
I'd definitely keep reading. There's a hint of danger, something unknown, along with the suggestion of of real life conflict.
This is a good book for "tweeners" I think, but MG readers will like it and some YA and adults. I think it has definite promise as a read-aloud.
Becky
Yes, yes, I'd read on!
I would read on. The atmosphere is intriguing. I'm a little skeptical about the old woman's voice—what's her background and ethnicity supposed to be? She doesn't really sound like Alaska to me. Other than that, I like it.
Post a Comment