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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana L. Flegal

Thank you for joining us today for this edition of Would You Read On? Please kindly comment below if you would like to continue reading.

Genre: Middle Grade YA Fantasy


Jonah Zackar stood at the woodpile, listening to the howling wind and remembering the warning Old Blind Alice had given him, last time he'd been out her way.
Her scratchy voice had added a creepiness factor to her words. "When birch branches clack in the wind, and rattle like dead men's bones, that means the little hairy men are searching." She'd trembled and pulled her afghan tight against the Alaskan chill. "Looking for victims," she'd whispered. "Wind makes 'em hungered."
Jonah squinted through the gap between his beaver fur hat and the wool scarf, which was wrapped across the bottom half of his face. All around, thin birch trees bowed, forced down by the unrelenting gale.
Out of the corner of his eye, Jonah caught a flash of color skittering across the snowy ground. He whipped around and stared.
Nothing.
Still the fine hairs on the nape of his neck stood up.
He shook the feeling off, telling himself to stop being silly. The movement he'd seen must have been twigs being blown about. He didn't believe in all that mumbo jumbo talk about little hairy men. He didn't believe they were out there, watching, with mouths watering, waiting for the perfect time to spring. What he did believe in was his uncle's temper. If he didn't get the wood in soon, he'd be a victim alright--Unc's victim. Moving clumsily, all bundled up in his thick fur parka and mittens, he shoved a piece of firewood into his bag.

Last weeks contributor was author Shelly Tucker. Shelly has recently set up a blog at www.shellytucker.com,  titled "Faith in the Desert". Please stop by and encourage her in this new endeavor.


15 comments:

Michelle H. said...

Hmmm...I'm intrigued. I would probably read on just to see what the little men turn out to be - but I'd probably skip ahead to find out. I wasn't really grabbed by the writing on this first page and I don't think there was a big enough "hook" to grab the reader's attention.

I could, however, picture a creepy old woman saying those words in the 2nd paragraph so kudos to the author for that!

Timothy Fish said...

I think I would continue reading.

I would like this better if the author would strike the first two paragraphs. The action in the scene begins in the third paragraph and I don't see much value in what is said about Alice.

Jennifer said...

I like this, especially for YA. I was intrigued by the name of the old woman...

David Stearman said...

When can I buy this? I want to read on.

Diane Stortz said...

If I could cut and tighten it up first, then yes!

Cheryl said...

Like Tim mentioned, I would strike the first two paragraphs. After that I would definitely keep reading.

Davalyn Spencer said...

I would definitely read on. After killing a couple of commas.

Jeanette Levellie said...

Yes. It's a bit wordy at first, but near the end of this selection, the writing flows and is less stilted.

I do want to find out if he escapes his uncle's ire, and what the little men turn out to be. There is enough tension to intrigue me.

Caroline said...

Perhaps some editing, but I'd definitely read on. Loved the creepyness! Want to see what happens next.

Sharon Kirk Clifton said...

Yes, I would read on. As for those first two paragraphs, they're keepers. As a professional raconteur, I had to read Old Blind Alice's lines aloud and in character, of course.

I hear a storyteller's voice in the writing. It sounds like a great read-aloud.

The "little hairy men"? I wish the writer had given them a more evocative descriptor. And I wonder at the significance of the MC's name. Hmmmm....

I'm curious about the uncle.

Heather Day Gilbert said...

Wow, I'm pretty much blown away and want to read more. One thought, though--I think it has to be EITHER MG or YA; it can't really qualify as both. It all depends on the age of the main character. I'm interested to find out who wrote this!

Sharon Kirk Clifton said...

Heather, you broach upon a conundrum I have with my own novel. I think it's possible for a work to teeter on a line between MG and YA. It matters to the bookseller or librarian who wants to place it on the "correct" shelf, but does the reader care? I was thrilled when I saw this book described as MG/YA. Hooray! That's a niche my baby can squeeze into.

Rebecca LuElla Miller said...

I'd definitely keep reading. There's a hint of danger, something unknown, along with the suggestion of of real life conflict.

This is a good book for "tweeners" I think, but MG readers will like it and some YA and adults. I think it has definite promise as a read-aloud.

Becky

Amy Sullivan said...

Yes, yes, I'd read on!

Katherine Hyde said...

I would read on. The atmosphere is intriguing. I'm a little skeptical about the old woman's voice—what's her background and ethnicity supposed to be? She doesn't really sound like Alaska to me. Other than that, I like it.