Seduce Your Reader With Your First Line by Diana Flegal

Writers who ignore the first line create fiction that lacks literary seduction.
                               Aaron Gansky Firsts in Fiction

Have you ever grabbed a book off the shelf in a bookstore, opened it and read the first line and determined to buy it? Or at the least, pull up a chair and read a little more while sipping your latte' ? (Gosh, I miss my local Borders Bookstore). 

Like the mermaids siren song, we are seduced and can not escape, even though we might wish to. We are hooked and at the mercy of the author, compelled to read on. That is a wonderful experience, is it not?

Fiction and Nonfiction can capture us this way.

Erwin Raphael McManus captured me with a fictional opening to his nonfiction Christian Living title, Seizing Your Divine Moment.  He wrote: Rumblings are more felt than heard and certainly never seen. They come to you through the soles of your feet into the depths of your soul. Only then do they open the eyes of your heart. They speak of a shift that is about to take place.

Margaret Becker, in her title, Coming Up For Air, hooked me with her first paragraph. I will let you read it yourself. Amazon says this about it: Artist Margaret Becker shares her personal story of exhaustion, loneliness, faith, and success in a lighthearted yet thought-provoking story. Through her experiences women will learn how to redefine, reclaim, and rejuvenate their lives.

Yes, both times the authors grabbed me where I was at. I was feeling tremors beneath my feet and knew I was in for a shift. And I certainly needed to get away as Margaret spoke of. But if they hadn't wrote what they said in a compelling and  fine way, I would have moved on.


A reader will not continue reading if you do not capture or 'hook' them quickly. They simply place your book back on the shelf and pull out another. With limited budgets, there are so many options and so little time.

When an agent or editor read your sample chapters in a proposal, we sometimes know by the first line and often by the first page, whether we are going to read on or reply with a kind rejection. Sometimes out of duty, having met the author at a conference face to face, we will read the full three chapters contained in the proposal. And if we catch a glimmer of something special, having waded on, we might respond with a suggestion for a rewrite and request for a resubmit. But all too often we know by the first pages end,it just doesn't measure up.
 
While refreshing my First Pages workshop for an upcoming conference, I turned to Aaron Gansky's book mentioned above.This small book is power packed with great writing advice. The subtitle of the book is: First Line Hooks, Hints and Help. And it is just that.

Aaron lists four ways you can begin your story with the first line.
Through character, conflict, voice and setting.

Eddie Jones, in his book, The Curse of Captain LaFoote, begins; "I'd just ordered a large pizza the evening our apartment building burned down." I was curious enough to read on.

Which style of beginning would you say Eddie used?

What are a few of your favorite first lines? Share them here with us, but don't forget to credit the author.


And be sure to check out Aaron's book.

Happy Wednesday!

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana Flegal

Welcome to Would You Read On.


Last weeks brave contributor was Molly Huggins. Please stop by Molly's blog (link below) and introduce yourself. And let other service men and women know about it as well.

www.allthegracebetween.com


This column is open for submissions. If you would like to submit a first page for critique, please email Diana at: diana@hartlineliterary.com. If your first page is approved, Diana will schedule your post and let you know when that will be.

Thank you for faithfully supporting our blog. Have a terrific day.



 

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana Flegal

Thank you for stopping by for today's installment of Would You Read On?

Today's contributor has offered us the first page of his YA novel. Let us know in the comment section below, if you would read on or place this back on the shelf.

Chapter 1

A scream ripped my attention from the airline magazine. In the next instant, a muffled explosion erupted somewhere outside the airplane.

“They’re shooting at us!” a man shouted.

The Boeing 747 shuddered into a gut-wrenching dive. Instantly my trip to Israel as an exchange student transformed into a pandemonium of shrieking, shouting, terrified passengers.

“What’s happening? Who’s shooting?” I yelled into the chaos.

Was it a fighter jet? Or maybe missiles shooting up from ground launchers? From where I sat in the middle, I couldn’t see whatever the passengers at the windows were shouting about.

A second explosion rocked the airliner.

The grandmother beside me clutched my arm and dug in with eagle talons. “We’re going to crash!”

I still didn’t know what was happening, but in that instant I figured the old woman was right. Only seventeen years old—and I was about to die.

Yellow oxygen masks dropped from the overhead bins. Just as I reached for mine, a final explosion practically blasted my ears off. Just that fast, the airliner was gone! Instead of airplane, I glimpsed alternating blue sky, brown earth, and tumbling wreckage as my body somersaulted through icy air. My lungs gasped for breath.

In terror I shut eyes and uttered a final prayer: “God! I’m yours!”

WOULD YOU READ ON?

Last weeks contributor was published author Marlene Banks. Marlene takes true moments in Black American history and brings these unknown stories to light by wrapping them in fiction. Her third title releases Oct 1st and is titled Greenwood and Archer. Greenwood and Archer continues the story from Son of a Preacherman, a Feb 2012 release.  Connect with Marlene at her FB page.

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana L. Flegal

Thank you for stopping by our blog today. Since we have no First Page for you today - we are happy to list the Christy Award winners announced this week at ICRS in Orlando. Congrats to all

 
 
 
 
CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE
Wolfsbane
by Ronie Kendig
Barbour Publishing 
CONTEMPORARY SERIES
The Amish Midwife
by Mindy Starns Clark and Leslie Gould
Harvest House Publishers
CONTEMPORARY STANDALONE
Promises to Keep
by Ann Tatlock
Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group
FIRST NOVEL
Words
by Ginny Yttrup
B&H Publishing Group
HISTORICAL
Wonderland Creek
by Lynn Austin
Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group
HISTORICAL ROMANCE
The Maid of Fairbourne Hall
by Julie Klassenby
Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group
SUSPENSE
The Queen
by Steven James
Revell Books, a division of Baker Publishing
VISIONARY
Veiled Rose
by Anne Elisabeth Stengl
Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group
YOUNG ADULT
Waterfall
by Lisa T. Bergren
David C Cook

You can find out more about the books and authors from the official Christy Award press release. To find the list of other nominations and the replay of the ceremony’s live blog, visit the official Christy Awards site.



We also want to thank last weeks courageous author, Becky L. Miller.
You can find out more about Becky at her personal blog A Christian Worldview of Fiction - http://rebeccaluellamiller.wordpress.com/and her editing blog, Rewrite, Reword, Rework - http://rewriterewordrework.wordpress.com/

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana Flegal

Hi Y'all;
We hope your summer is off to a great start. Thank you for stopping by our blog today.

Today's First Page submission is an adult fantasy. Let us know in the comments below if you would read on or not.

Part 1
Epoch of Lord Abador – 19 Cida to 11 Fenad, 4702
The Other Worlder will instigate the end of the Epoch of Lord Abador either as Efrathah's staunchest defender or its most eminent foe.
 - from Rutad Jardan's Summations

Chapter I—The Fall

            On the basketball court, Jim Thompson expected trash talk. Here in his parents' beach-side condo, not so much.
            Kent Tanner, the jet-setting owner of the place next door, crossed his arms over his puffed-out chest. "It's better you got cut, Jim. Now you can settle down and get a real job. Only exceptional athletes make it big in the NBA."
            The guy's jab landed, just north of Jim’s own fears. He waggled his head back and forth the way that Denver Broncos wide receiver used to do when he popped to his feet after taking a ferocious hit. No way would Jim let Tanner know his cheap shot stung. The burble of conversation from the other guests swirled around them, peaking with an explosion of laughter from a bunch of college kids nearby. Friends of his sister, no doubt. When their voices died down, Jim eased back a step and parroted what he’d been telling his fans since his surgery. "I appreciate your concern, Kent, but this is only a temporary setback. I'm not done with basketball yet."
            "Trust me on this, kiddo, you don't want to be one of those players bouncing from team to team, earning next to nothing. There's no future in it."
            "I’ll keep that in mind." Jim flashed his photo-op smile, the best way to slam the door on the discussion. He couldn't listen to any more dreary predictions about his career. No matter what Tanner or anybody else said, he wasn't washed up. He could still play. All he needed was a chance to prove it.

Last weeks author submission was from author Cheryl Malandrinos.
You can learn more about Cheryl at one of her many online spots listed here.

Cheryl C. Malandrinos

http://ccmalandrinos.com

http://littleshepherdchildrensbook.blogspot.com

http://thebookconnectionccm.blogspot.com

http://childrensandteensbookconnection.wordpress.com

http://cherylschristianbookconnection.blogspot.com  

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana L. Flegal

Thank you for joining us today for this edition of Would You Read On? Please kindly comment below if you would like to continue reading.

Genre: Middle Grade YA Fantasy

Jonah Zackar stood at the woodpile, listening to the howling wind and remembering the warning Old Blind Alice had given him, last time he'd been out her way.

Her scratchy voice had added a creepiness factor to her words. "When birch branches clack in the wind, and rattle like dead men's bones, that means the little hairy men are searching." She'd trembled and pulled her afghan tight against the Alaskan chill. "Looking for victims," she'd whispered. "Wind makes 'em hungered."

Jonah squinted through the gap between his beaver fur hat and the wool scarf, which was wrapped across the bottom half of his face. All around, thin birch trees bowed, forced down by the unrelenting gale.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jonah caught a flash of color skittering across the snowy ground. He whipped around and stared.

Nothing.

Still the fine hairs on the nape of his neck stood up.

He shook the feeling off, telling himself to stop being silly. The movement he'd seen must have been twigs being blown about. He didn't believe in all that mumbo jumbo talk about little hairy men. He didn't believe they were out there, watching, with mouths watering, waiting for the perfect time to spring. What he did believe in was his uncle's temper. If he didn't get the wood in soon, he'd be a victim alright--Unc's victim. Moving clumsily, all bundled up in his thick fur parka and mittens, he shoved a piece of firewood into his bag.

Last weeks contributor was author Shelly Tucker. Shelly has recently set up a blog at www.shellytucker.com,  titled "Faith in the Desert". Please stop by and encourage her in this new endeavor.

The first page by Terry Burns

The purpose of the first page is simple – to get the reader to turn the page and move on down in the book. It has to be about the story, of course, but it is even more about hooking the reader into the book and selling the book.

In my own writing the first page is not the first thing I write but the last thing. I consider my first couple of chapters as temporary, they may or may not go into the book or if they do will probably need to be rewritten after I am really familiar with the story and the characters. Then when I am through and happy with it I go back and say “Okay, now how do I get them off this page?”

Readers don’t really care about the weather or the setting until they have decided they are going to read, then we can set the scene for them. What do I like to see on a first page? An action initiated that is not completed, curiosity aroused and not satisfied, a question posed and not answered, anything that begins on the page but is not completed until the next page.

While an agent or editor may not reject a book on the basis of just a first page, most of them want the page to be compelling. They know a majority of readers standing at a book rack pull a book down and read the back cover copy and the first page. The object is to get them to turn that page and read a little further into the book, because that’s when they will carry it up to the checkout stand. And that’s why first pages are so important.

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana Flegal

Welcome to our Wednesday edition of Would You Read On?. We appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to stop by our blog. Kindly comment if you would read on or not. Last week’s contributing author is revealed below this first page.

The following First Page is a YA novel:

Chapter 1:

The problem was that he was 'hot' and I was not. So he got all the girls and I got, well, mostly myself, which was not that great a thing. That was the general run of our lives, and the way it was on that pivotal afternoon. He, Brandon Burke, with his perfect hair and Brad Pitt looks, was sitting in the corner booth at our local Micky D’s with out-of-my-league Alison, her shadow Erika, and some other celestial being.

Me, I was with my ace Snort, which was also not that great a thing.

“Hey Jake,” croaked Snort, “who’s that tasty morsel over there by Ally?”

“Don’t know and don’t care,” I grunted, trying to convince myself.

“Yeah, right. I can tell by the way your tongue’s hanging out.”

“Shut up Snort.”

He couldn’t leave well enough alone. “Just look at her, Jake. She’s hotter than Seven of Nine.”

It was becoming increasingly clear that Snort’s addiction Star Trek Voyager reruns had something to do with Jeri Ryan’s catsuit. “Maybe,” I replied, reluctantly joining his juvenile game, “but she can’t touch Lara Croft.”

He lifted his nose. “Lara Croft doesn’t count. She’s a cartoon.”

“And Seven isn’t? Besides, what about the Angelina Jolie flick?”

“Point taken.”

I could tell Snort still expected me to concede that this girl was better looking than either the ex-Borg or the Tomb Raider. No way I’d do it, but she still was, especially the way she was dressed that afternoon. That off-the-shoulder thing was always killer, particularly on girls with creamy skin, pouty lips, and eyes like aquamarines.

Cornered, I adopted a pompous tone. “You shouldn’t objectify women, Snort. It’s dehumanizing.”

His eyes went to the floor. “Can’t help it. It’s genetic. I have a Y chromosome.”

Would you read on?

Last weeks contributor was JC Lamont. You can find out more about JC on her face book page or visiting her at her blog.