Avoid Annoying Alliteration by Andy Scheer
I
enjoy beautiful literary writing when I see it. But like those of
California Condors, the sightings are both wondrous and rare.
Instead,
the samples I see labeled as literary often remind me of girls trying
to use makeup for the first time. If a little is good, a lot must be
better. Rather than highlight the natural beauty, it calls attention
to itself—and the lack of skillful technique.
For
me, excessive alliteration serves as a dead giveaway of an author
trying too hard. Like a child in a Christmas pageant waving and
shouting, “Hi, Mom!” the action calls attention to itself—and
away from the content.
This
past week as I prepped for a writers conference, I looked at the
opening chapter of a historical romance (not a genre I'd ordinarily
consider). From the first sentence, the alliterations almost knocked
me over.
Clara’s
arms were
wildly whaling
about in the open air as she sought to grasp the looming figure that
stood at the top of the cliff-head.
But
the author was just warming up. Two sentences later, she sprang this
five-pointer:
It
did not flinch, even though her screams echoed off the cliffs strata
until they were suddenly
silenced by a sharp shrilling strike
in the low tidewater at the base of the cliff.
How
can a reader keep her mind on the story when every other sentence
shouts and waves? If a little bit of makeup is good, stop there.
2 comments:
Sometimes we let this stuff slip by without seeing it. I love to use alliteration on purpose, but I missed some in a piece I recently submitted. I was pretty upset when I noticed it later. All those words hit me like a big, booming, brass bell. :) I'm hoping the people judging the piece don't notice. (And thanking God I didn't submit it to you, because you would see it and blog about it. Ouch.)
The same goes for rhymes and repetitions that you don't put in on purpose. They almost always detract from the story.
I should think that overdosing on alliteration would also create challenges for the talent hired to record a novel as an audio book.
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