Today's contributor has offered us the first page of his YA novel. Let us know in the comment section below, if you would read on or place this back on the shelf.
Chapter 1
A scream ripped my
attention from the airline magazine. In the next instant, a muffled explosion
erupted somewhere outside the airplane.
“They’re shooting at
us!” a man shouted.
The Boeing 747
shuddered into a gut-wrenching dive. Instantly my trip to Israel as an exchange
student transformed into a pandemonium of shrieking, shouting, terrified
passengers.
“What’s happening?
Who’s shooting?” I yelled into the chaos.
Was it a fighter jet?
Or maybe missiles shooting up from ground launchers? From where I sat in the
middle, I couldn’t see whatever the passengers at the windows were shouting
about.
A second explosion
rocked the airliner.
The grandmother beside
me clutched my arm and dug in with eagle talons. “We’re going to crash!”
I still didn’t know
what was happening, but in that instant I figured the old woman was right. Only
seventeen years old—and I was about to die.
Yellow oxygen masks
dropped from the overhead bins. Just as I reached for mine, a final explosion
practically blasted my ears off. Just that fast, the airliner was gone! Instead
of airplane, I glimpsed alternating blue sky, brown earth, and tumbling
wreckage as my body somersaulted through icy air. My lungs gasped for breath.
In terror I shut eyes and
uttered a final prayer: “God! I’m yours!”
WOULD YOU READ ON?
Last weeks contributor was published author Marlene Banks. Marlene takes true moments in Black American history and brings these unknown stories to light by wrapping them in fiction. Her third title releases Oct 1st and is titled Greenwood and Archer. Greenwood and Archer continues the story from Son of a Preacherman, a Feb 2012 release. Connect with Marlene at her FB page.
11 comments:
I would not read on. Yet. With some editing and polishing, I might because there is a story there.
Yes, I would. I'd have to know what happened...
It doesn't engage me enough to read on. Perhaps too much disseminating of info, not enough inviting into present reality. Bring me into the cabin where I gasp for breath when the pressure drops, scream for my grandbabies when the plane begins to plummet, shudder at the thought of death, not just read about them.
I thought it was very engaging. I could feel the confusion and chaos. And, I was surprised when the plane disappeared in a flash (as I would imagine I would be if I were actually in a plane when that happened!). I enjoyed it very much, and yes, I would read on.
Hmm...Yes I'd read on because I'm curious. However, I'm not engaged with the character yet. That said, I want her to live through this and so I would read on to see what happens!!! I agree with Davalyn, with editing and tightening I think this will be a good read.
I'd definitely read on. Who wouldn't want to know how someone could survive such
a harrowing experience?
The story is riveting and
exciting from the start.
The only line that bothered me was,
"...practically blew my ears off."
A little cliche and juvenile.
But over all, great beginning!
I was following along till the MC called his/her grandmother "the old woman." It is interesting, to start the book in the middle of a plane attack. I would probably read on.
Yes, I would read on. To me, this action grabs me and I want to know what's going next. Live or Die? From the last bit, it would seem the character has accepted that his life is over....or is it! That's what I want to know. What happened next.
I think the woman wasn't the girl's grandmother, but an old woman she thought to be someone's grandmother. Yes! I would read on. Love it and I think it's filled with enough chaos and action to pull a YA reader right in.
Oh my word, Linda, you're so right! I must've been skim-reading! Yipes! I think we could agree that if the grandma were called "the old woman" it might be bad, though! Glad you caught that.
First, I was reading the main character as a male since Diana said it was the beginning of "his YA novel" &, in my experience, most authors write from their own gender's POV. Still, there's no indication in this short clip either way. But if you bought the book & read the back, of course, you'd know.
Anyway, I would have to know how someone could possibly survive plummeting to earth. But I don't know if I'd read on after that. If the intro POV character died in the first chapter/prologue -- as seems inevitable -- that would immediately make me lose interest. If he didn't die, it would depend on what else the story was about.
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