Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Instant Award-Winning Author Status by Andy Scheer

The spam for wanna-be writers just keeps on coming. This morning the subject line proclaimed, “BECOME AN AWARD WINNING AUTHOR!”

Here's the full pitch:


The Crafty Possum (
name changed) Digital Book Awards is now open for early registration. Enter now and save up to 25%.

* Digital e-book formats only
* No publication date requirement
* Five award levels
* 75+ categories
* Free book review with each primary category
* Win prizes valued up to $5,000!

Use the following links for more information:

If the phrase “award-winning author” still carried any value, it just slipped several notches. My sympathy to those authors who got published—and won awards—the old-fashioned way.

Entering an e-book in the so-called contest costs $70, but with that amazing discount, only $50.

Of course, to be eligible, the file needs to have been converted into one of various e-book formats (a service Crafty Possum just happens to offer. (“ePublishing Packages As Low As $299!” “Learn More About Our Project Management Services.”)

The “gold medal winner” in each category receives a passel of stuff connected to Crafty Possum's services:
  • Eligible to win 1 of 3 advanced e-book formatting and distribution packages from Crafty Sloth Media ($1,000 value)
  • Eligible to win 1 of 3 pro video book trailers from Crafty Slothio
  • Eligible to win 1 of 3 express author interviews on the Crafty Sloth Book Podcast on Blog Talk Radio
  • 6 months promotion in our featured book section
  • Online medal award ceremony
  • Gold digital medal for websites and e-book covers
  • Print-on-demand personalized certificate
Check your own spam filters for details about the prizes to be awarded at the silver, bronze, wood, hay, and stubble levels. Meanwhile, I'll delete this email and save 100 percent.


Rick Barry said...

I laughed when I read the "Online medal award ceremony." I can just picture the proud "winner" gathering friends and family around the computer to share in that gala event.

This reminds me of puffed rice: a whole lot of fluff with little solid content. Well, make that no solid content.

Andy, looks like you won today's "See Through the Hype" award. Thanks for the laugh.

Becky Doughty said...

Andy - Love it. Wow.

Rick - You pegged it spot on. Puffed Rice.


Jeanette Levellie said...

Ahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Loved your pretend monikers.