Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Would You Read On? hosted by Diana L. Flegal

Welcome to our Wednesday edition of Would You Read On?. We appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to stop by our blog. Kindly comment if you would read on or not.

This weeks contribution is a fiction title: 

Prologue
There was a day when all the host of heaven appeared before the Lord, on his right hand and on his left, and Satan stood among them. “Where have you come from, Satan?” the Lord asked. “Which of my servants will you accuse today?”
Satan stood before the Lord and said, “I have been going from place to place throughout the whole earth. I have seen many who do not fear you, who will not call upon the name of the Lord.”
“Yes, this has long been true, but there are also many who fear me, who worship me and pass on their faith from one generation to the next.”
“In my journey,” Satan said, “I came upon a small town in the United States, in the State of Texas, in the very heart of those who call themselves Christians. They call the place Burning Cedar, as they should, because they have done evil before you and you have given them over to those who would destroy them.”
“For a time, but even now, I hear their cries for deliverance. But that is not why you have come. You have often seen people turn to me when they face hardships.”
“In the town of Burning Cedar, there is a family that has served you for many generations and even the man Stephen Barak is numbered with your saints and written in your book. His father is a deacon in Burning Cedar Baptist Church. His grandfather persuaded many to follow you. His great-grandfather obeyed you and started three churches. But I have watched Stephen and he does not obey you. He hears your voice, but he does not obey.

Would you read on?

We also welcome other courageous authors to share their fiction and nonfiction first pages for critique. Email: diana@hartlineliterary.com with your submissions.
 

9 comments:

David Stearman said...

Yes. The Stephen Barak character humanizes the story for me and sucks me in. I already feel for him, knowing that there's going to be a lot of drama in this Job-like character's life.

Caroline said...

Yes, I like the prologue so far. Always intrigued me--that confrontation between Satan & God. Wonder what all poor Stephen will go thru! I'd read on. Good start, writer.

Sharon A. Lavy said...

I look forward to this post every week!!!

Yes. Absolutely. Wow!

Sharon A. Lavy said...

Satan is the accuser of the brethren. And this is a good plot.

Jennifer said...

No, I wouldn't read on. This comes across to me as a little stiff, almost makes me fear something preachy is ahead...just my thought.

Jeanette Levellie said...

I would read on, to find out what happens, but only if you change his last name. Please.

Davalyn Spencer said...

Yes, I would read on. But I might stop later, depending on Stephen Barak's dilemma. I also anticipate the stilted dialogue to change once the reader is in the story with Stephen. If it didn't, that would also make me stop reading.

Nancy DeLaval Miller said...

I agree with Jeanette that Stephen's last name has got to go. Otherwise I am intrigued and would read on.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's my age and how many decades I've listened to sermons on Job. No, I'm not gripped by this, only anticipating another overly familiar story.