Showing posts with label funny words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny words. Show all posts

Monday, September 29, 2014

Authors Say the Funniest Things by Linda S. Glaz




“You didn’t read far enough. The story gets really good in the third chapter!”
Well, yes. It probably does. But what makes this author think someone is going to wait that long to become vested in the characters?
“I already self-published it on Amazon, and the sales aren’t all that great. I need an agent to take it to the next level. But the reviews are wonderful!”
In other words, I need an agent to try to convince a publisher that even though it didn’t sell well, if only THEY would publish it, it would. And my family and best friends loved it. Nope. It doesn’t pay to look at material that has already been published unless the author can show a real level of platform or sales numbers that make my eyes explode. And if that’s the case, why do they need another publisher? (And why would they need me, I can’t see their work anymore?)
“I no once you read the story! youl’l be happy to werk on bringing the gramer and puntuashun up to par cuz its SOOO good.’
And there you have it. So often a story that really could be amazing is sent out far too soon. Without critique partners, without serious edits, and often, without even a basic knowledge of grammar and punctuation, of current writing styles, and so forth, a writer is so invested in his or her story that they feel the need to share it immediately. I know I did. And if it isn’t polished more closely than the Hope diamond, it won’t shine. It won’t stand a chance to be considered above the rest in the pile.
“I’ve worked really hard on this for three months. I got laid off and figured why not? All of my friends love it. One who reads two books every week said she never read a better story.”
Our friends love us. They are impressed that we’ve written a book. They will love it even if it suffers bad construction. They are, after all, our friends. A good story takes time and work.
“You didn’t read far enough. The story gets really good in the third chapter!”
Again, folks, that just doesn’t cut it. As writers we all know it has to shine in the first chapter. No, it has to shine on the first page. No, again. IT HAS TO SHINE IN THE FIRST LINE.
You novel must grab a reader from the first words and force them to read on.
Be prepared: write, polish, review, and rewrite.
Let your words sing directly to your readers’ hearts.