tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post8383550308464319498..comments2023-11-02T05:29:57.954-04:00Comments on From the Heart: Would You Read On? hosted by Diana L. FlegalAndy Scheer, Hartline Literaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09010440105558099014noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-33343730043841468392012-06-21T21:22:54.979-04:002012-06-21T21:22:54.979-04:00I feel the books strong opening is great for this ...I feel the books strong opening is great for this type of story.. Its suspenceful, jaw clinching, and very detailed. You have no clue who this ladies character is nor her friends, yet you are into the story line and are wanting to know why this crazy violence is happening. You want to know who is responsible for such darkness and whats to come. I cannot wait to read on!!!! -DestinyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-12874797159642182762012-06-21T11:37:00.028-04:002012-06-21T11:37:00.028-04:00Alot of action which paints a very vivid picture. ...Alot of action which paints a very vivid picture. Yes, I would read further. Readers need to see that G-d is able to reach people no matter how dark the situation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-62323386433461189922012-06-21T11:01:28.543-04:002012-06-21T11:01:28.543-04:00I would. It was a little heavy on the adjectives a...I would. It was a little heavy on the adjectives and adverbs; descriptors tend to slow action, but I was definitely engaged. The woman's name was a distraction too--figuring out how to pronounce it slowed me as well. But i still wanted to move forward to find out what would happen. And as for previous comments about the gore...what gore? have you ever been to a movie?David Stearmanhttp://davidstearman.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-41002230709765249982012-06-21T07:49:04.716-04:002012-06-21T07:49:04.716-04:00I can appreciate opening with action, but this is ...I can appreciate opening with action, but this is a little too graphic for me. Suggests much more to come that I don't want to imprint on my mind.Elizabeth Rosianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10944659906947908877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-7585114462679274242012-06-20T13:51:16.066-04:002012-06-20T13:51:16.066-04:00I agree w/a lot of the comments above and Sally...I agree w/a lot of the comments above and Sally's advice was good. It has a good premise w/lots of potential. I'd love to read more after it's cleaned up a bit. And in a suspense the beginning whets your appetite but doesn't feel in all the blanks. :)Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08765332646987825952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-90469911383618664972012-06-20T13:33:28.569-04:002012-06-20T13:33:28.569-04:00I'm afraid not.
There is a lot of potential ...I'm afraid not. <br /><br />There is a lot of potential in this opening--conflict, for sure. And a character who loves her best friend. And who is in danger. All great stuff.<br /><br />But the opening feels like it's trying too hard and it's wearing me out. <br /><br />Opening with such a dramatic scene is hard to pull off. Since I don't know the character, I don't care too much if she dies. And it's hard to get to know a character with this much action going on. Cutting out the adverbs, adjectives, and redundancies would make this opening easier for me to read. <br /><br />Here's an example: <br /><br />~~~~~~~~~~<br />The force of the explosion sent Mahayla hurtling through the air. Pieces of jagged rock sliced her skin. Red-hot embers, shattered glass and twisted metal rained down around her.<br />~~~~~~~~~~<br /><br />I think that reads more easily without leaving out any vital details. <br /><br />This writer is good, and should keep going, though. Read Noah Lukeman's THE FIRST FIVE PAGES, make some cuts so the modifiers aren't detracting from the story, and keep going. Sounds like it's a rip-roaring tale.sally https://www.blogger.com/profile/11068670473065918371noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-5623140603705119792012-06-20T11:47:20.824-04:002012-06-20T11:47:20.824-04:00I would continue reading.I would continue reading.Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02684684727324825700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-65407497942409338702012-06-20T11:45:15.922-04:002012-06-20T11:45:15.922-04:00No. The descriptions are off-putting for me. I can...No. The descriptions are off-putting for me. I can't imagine hearing echoes during a chaotic explosion. There's too much author intrusion for my taste. Mahayla would know she couldn't breathe deeply, but not likely she'd know at this point that her ribs are broken.<br /><br />Sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-31382770712686975042012-06-20T08:58:15.139-04:002012-06-20T08:58:15.139-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Jeanette Levelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12898750484193832082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-88062064770807972812012-06-20T08:21:55.556-04:002012-06-20T08:21:55.556-04:00Yes I'd read on! I love a story that starts w...Yes I'd read on! I love a story that starts with exciting action. I expect every thing to be explained as I read further. I want to know why Lori was tortured and by whom. Why is Mahayla under attack? Does she survive? Will she save Lori? Looks like a good read!Lynn Donovanhttp://sittingontheporchwithlynn.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-32647769551642869642012-06-20T06:20:55.634-04:002012-06-20T06:20:55.634-04:00Not if this is all I've got to get me started....Not if this is all I've got to get me started. As I read this, the gore overwhelmed the story to the point that I couldn't find the story. While I suppose there is nothing technically wrong with beginning a book with a scene like this, I need time to get an understanding of what's going on before people get splattered across a mountain side.Timothy Fishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06554064732811895577noreply@blogger.com