tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post1684819725935506442..comments2023-11-02T05:29:57.954-04:00Comments on From the Heart: Seduce Your Reader With Your First Line by Diana FlegalAndy Scheer, Hartline Literaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09010440105558099014noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-21407864126308551032013-03-22T16:46:42.236-04:002013-03-22T16:46:42.236-04:00Just letting you know that I linked to this post i...Just letting you know that I linked to this post in my latest blog update (http://writerlaurenclaire.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/tweetable-writing-tips-part-1/).<br /><br />I don't have access to my books at the moment to post my favorite opening line or else I would play along.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-81369060380274967812013-03-14T19:35:14.494-04:002013-03-14T19:35:14.494-04:00That makes sense, then. I do like that opening.That makes sense, then. I do like that opening.Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-70611867510929750432013-03-14T11:52:04.793-04:002013-03-14T11:52:04.793-04:00Not an omniscient pov; he knows who the killer is ...Not an omniscient pov; he knows who the killer is and plans to visit...<br /><br />You can read here (if links are allowed): http://voices.yahoo.com/mercy-10733221.html?cat=44<br /><br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-58498990801877969742013-03-14T09:30:04.094-04:002013-03-14T09:30:04.094-04:00Diana, this post SOOO changed how I look at all le...Diana, this post SOOO changed how I look at all lead it sentences, for chapters, for paragraphs, etc. Thank you for the wonderful post!<br />(I'm re-editing my wip)Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-69488271409459148552013-03-14T09:29:01.938-04:002013-03-14T09:29:01.938-04:00I love the line, just be careful, if you're wr...I love the line, just be careful, if you're writing omniscient, you're okay, but if you're writing from todd's pov, would he know that? Or is he already planning in his head to meet the killer? I know it hooked me!Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-13091016263222221752013-03-14T09:07:59.675-04:002013-03-14T09:07:59.675-04:00I started my short story "Mercy?" with t...I started my short story "Mercy?" with this: "Today, Todd would face his wife's killer." I'm not sure how it compares with the greats, but I did work to make this a hook for the story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-81612914830124137192013-03-13T22:06:21.910-04:002013-03-13T22:06:21.910-04:00The first line makes or breaks the story...or I th...The first line makes or breaks the story...or I think it does. "Married at 13, a mother by 14, widowed and childless by 15." These kind of lines make the reader ask, "What on earth is going on?" And when those types of questions come out then a writer has nailed their audience to the story.<br /><br />A writer friend once told me, "the first paragraph should make me ask, What's in this for me and why should I care?" Good advice.<br /><br />Great post Diana.Cindy Sproleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04830332218529286736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-174818585108359362013-03-13T22:03:52.024-04:002013-03-13T22:03:52.024-04:00You've tempted me to geek out and make use of ...You've tempted me to geek out and make use of my (expensive) education, so I'll go a little in that direction.<br /><br />Two from Cormac McCarthy, both draw you in, but in different ways:<br /><br />"The candleflame and the image of the candleflame caught in the pierglass twisted and righted when he entered the hall and again when he shut the door"- All the Pretty Horses<br /><br />"I sent one boy to the gas chamber at Huntsville."- No Country for Old Men<br /><br />E.B. White: "I spent several days and nights in mid-September with an ailing pig and I feel driven to account for this stretch of time, more particularly since the pig died at last, and I lived, and things might easily have gone the other way round and none left to do the accounting."- Death of a PigAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09712512648344319873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-33869486889033510782013-03-13T20:11:00.852-04:002013-03-13T20:11:00.852-04:00Great post, Diana! One of my favorite first lines ...Great post, Diana! One of my favorite first lines is, "On Tuesday afternoon at five thirty, an elderly lady strode into Corin's antiques store as if she owned it and said, "The next two months of your life will be either heaven or hell." --James Rubiart, The ChairJeanette Levelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12898750484193832082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-43205338163544799052013-03-13T18:45:11.942-04:002013-03-13T18:45:11.942-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Cindy Sproleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09130661868473868599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-53564793124590488672013-03-13T14:26:00.861-04:002013-03-13T14:26:00.861-04:00I like it too Sharyn. :-) I am intrigued.I like it too Sharyn. :-) I am intrigued.Diana Flegalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11373354354968232390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-42034776240302601332013-03-13T13:45:02.299-04:002013-03-13T13:45:02.299-04:00Sharyn, I def like that opening line. Sure makes w...Sharyn, I def like that opening line. Sure makes we want to know more about the book.Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-16344805985988333802013-03-13T13:32:32.326-04:002013-03-13T13:32:32.326-04:00The first lines that stand out to me most come fro...The first lines that stand out to me most come from Jane Austen. Her classic first sentence from Pride & Prejudice, of course, & I also like Northanger Abbey's: "No one who had ever seen Catherine Morland in her infancy would have supposed her born to be an heroine."<br /><br />But I might as well share my first line, since I'm here & could get feedback: "I am more single today than I have ever been."~sharynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03900618724766476779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-34698803731789792732013-03-13T13:29:29.846-04:002013-03-13T13:29:29.846-04:00This is a great blog post, Diana. Seems like such ...This is a great blog post, Diana. Seems like such an important issue.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04557677057896864836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-14230924175818653602013-03-13T13:25:08.173-04:002013-03-13T13:25:08.173-04:00What's causing the roar? Well, what's a Ho...What's causing the roar? Well, what's a Hobbit? That's the point. The reader wants to to lean into the next line to find out :-)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04557677057896864836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-47582233973192052942013-03-13T12:43:46.260-04:002013-03-13T12:43:46.260-04:00Thank you. Thank you. Jennifer Majorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696261499182486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-74485093098534144562013-03-13T12:04:30.891-04:002013-03-13T12:04:30.891-04:00Jennifer, that is a beautiful example of using voi...Jennifer, that is a beautiful example of using voice to open your novel. I would read on. And David, action is a great way to peek a readers interest and curiosity- what is producing this roar?Diana Flegalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11373354354968232390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-52183214898576506712013-03-13T11:59:35.867-04:002013-03-13T11:59:35.867-04:00This issue is close to my heart. I really labor ov...This issue is close to my heart. I really labor over my first lines, since I see a story's first line as a form of advertising. In songwriting we call this a "hook," the concept being that if you can hook the listener, or reader, with this line, they'll listen, or read, on. <br />Personally, I like it when a first line involves action. "The morning exploded in a deafening roar." (You know that one, Diana ;-) But one of my all-time faves is "In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit," mainly because when I first read that book in the '70s, none of us knew what a Hobbit might be, but the cutesy name sure made us want to find out. David Stearmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04395390670629888762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-6382950113819806242013-03-13T11:08:08.356-04:002013-03-13T11:08:08.356-04:00Still surrounded by the morning silence, he raised...Still surrounded by the morning silence, he raised his hand and caught a few of the sunrays that peeked through the door frame and dared lay beams of light on his sleeping wife.<br /><br />Me.Jennifer Majorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696261499182486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-84238951750445740322013-03-13T09:47:06.389-04:002013-03-13T09:47:06.389-04:00I like it, a lot!I like it, a lot!Diana Flegalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11373354354968232390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-30982350250913004172013-03-13T09:44:11.167-04:002013-03-13T09:44:11.167-04:00Well, here's what happened. A couple weeks ago...Well, here's what happened. A couple weeks ago I started a new WIP and I thought I had a good line til I read your post. Went back and re-worked this, and now I like it better. Thanks, Diana. I "know" how important a first line is, but I get lazy and your post really woke me up again. Thank you thank you!!!Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-64077337411107906572013-03-13T09:19:24.883-04:002013-03-13T09:19:24.883-04:00That is a great first line Linda. Who can we credi...That is a great first line Linda. Who can we credit it to?Diana Flegalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11373354354968232390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2443765296489868573.post-11670296639107290962013-03-13T09:16:19.413-04:002013-03-13T09:16:19.413-04:00The prairie was a cold mistress. But he loved her,...The prairie was a cold mistress. But he loved her, nonetheless, loved the freedom to come and go that she afforded him with no questions asked.<br /><br />Happy Wednesday, Diana. I love this thought. We always tell folks how important the first page is, but you're right, it's the first line, isn't it?Linda Glazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04374683352435771715noreply@blogger.com